Dreams

For awhile I've been having these strange crazy dreams and again, for awhile, I've been wanting to document them but have been procrastinating. I'm going to start doing it now so that if anyone has any idea what it could possibly mean or just wants to listen.. listen! (it's really more for my benefit then yours).

Dream 1:

I had gone on a trip to meet some friends at a movie and was waiting to be picked up but instead I drove down to my cross streat to avoid the nagging my mother had been currently giving me. Just previously I had spent some time figuring out what I was going to wear, and finally chose the leather jacket my friends all pitched in to get me a pair of normal shorts and some rider's boots.. boots that go up your calf. The interesting thing was that only a thin line of skin showed up between the boots and the shorts.. don't ask me why, but that's how I looked wearing my jacket and it had no relavence to the story or maybe it does on a subconscious level. Eventually, someone who lives at the end of verissimo, a friend I use to carpool with comes driving by me and I guessed she hadn't seen me, she comes driving by again this time from the opposite direction and makes to turn left (she use to drive past by my street all the time without thinking about it.. well, her parents did because they drove the carpool) and then finally I stop her. She looks like a sweet girl now though instead of the punk gangsta she actually became. She said she had to cancel so go out without her and I thought that was fine. So I get in my car and drove to the train station and I don't remember taking a train anywhere, all I know is I end up at my destination with the cast of Seinfeld.. Jerry Seinfeld, Elaine and George.. I suppose making me Kramer. And yes, I already know I'm being the eccentric character and yes, I know how much that fits. Anyway, we start walking down the middle of the path between two trains that are forever moving in opposite directions right between them. For example to give you better clarification, if we moved a few feet to either side we would hit the side of the train and fly back and be smushed against the wall, because that's where they were feeding into. Also, they had little things coming off the sides of the train, sort of flat extensions that made it so if someone were hit by it they would flatten up against it by centrifigul force and then smushed like a bug when they finally reached the wall. Well, we walk on and reach a break in the train and Elaine has to go to the bathroom. Elaine goes in her own and comes out later saying she couldn't go. I go in the men's bathroom after with Jerry and George and they're talking in one stall.. together.. but they're not doing anything, not even going in the bathroom, just talking waiting for me. I start cleaning this one toilet because it's so nasty but Jerry says over the stall, oh, you shouldn't do that, you really need clean it better than that. So I move to the next toilet because apparently you had to start with a cleaner toilet, and I use that fun blue spraying stuff and spray it around the inside of the bowl and then flush. Then I take some toilet paper and with every little detail, tear.. and place. Tear.. and place. All around the seat of the toilet. I sit down to do my business but, like Elaine, I could not go. So I walk outside since Jerry and George left a minute ago and I magically (but was not suprised) to find myself in a roller blade (rinc? rink? You all know what I mean) I mention to Elaine that wow.. I couldn't go either.

Now, this is either a continuation of the same dream and I don't know how I got to this part or.. actually, I'm sure it is because I was wearing the same outfit. I just don't know how I got to this point.

Now, I'm checking into sort of this tropical hotel and my dad is doing all the check in but my mother and I are wandering around. I had told my mother that I guarantee we shouldn't eat because we would have caught a breakfast there and it would be a good one. She told me I was right after we discovered there was eggs benedict. (for those of you who don't know me, I LOVE eggs benedict.) So we're about to take one when all of a sudden a giant lava monster tears out of the mountain in front of us as we're standing at a buffet in some patio dining area. The monster grabs a guest and tears off half his body in his mouth, chews for a second then spits him out and throws him far. He grabs another guest and this time holds him in his hand. I'm actually watching this guy slowly being cooked in the lava giant's hands.. and that's why he spit him out. Either he was worried about getting sick from raw meat or he didn't *ring* like the.. *ring* taste.

At this point Madeline called me (this was a couple weeks ago) and afterwards I wrote down this dream.






Dream 2:

Now this second dream preceded the first by a day, but I wrote that one first so that's how it will be. I had died in this place I had never seen but it sort of looked like a cramped, 1800's western town with this one small building. In this building I met a few wandering spirits like me who were waiting to go to heaven. However, hell broke lose, literally. As far as I could understand, God and the devil had made a wager and God lost. Hell was able to conquer heaven and take the souls of the world for itself.. however, God before he lost (and without my knowledge) bestowed his powers onto me and basically I became God and was one of a few who did not get pulled down to hell. The kicker was, someone very dear to me was pulled down into hell and that was something that tore me up more than anything.

So I called the Devil to my side willing to make a contract. I would give myself up in exchange for her. The devil accepted knowing that he would just get her on his way up again and taunt me with that knowledge, however, as some part of the deal the Devil made with God, my willing sacrifice somehow voided the outcome and allowed God to win and immediately God's powers returned to him.

As far as I can tell, I'm meant to resemble sort of a Christ like figure whose sacrifice saved the souls of all humanity. That is all well and dandy, fine and good. Unfortunately, the real kicker was that I was still banished to hell alone with the devil. Humanity was saved but there was nothing they could do for me and what was worse, they all pretended that I did not exist and turned their backs on me. That last part scares me most of all because I see that with many people in their views on Christ.


Just going back and thinking about this after, I would willingly follow through with that choice should it ever came down to it. But I kept thinking that hell would actually have new meaning since I alone would be the only one damned. Alone forever with naught but the devil for company is not a comforting thought. Especially since I caused the devil to lose.



It actually gives me the shivers and leaves me shaking.


I'm actually going to go right now and fill you guys in later on the other dreams, remembering that dream really spooked me.